T-Minus

14 Days until a baby. 14 days until we go from zone defense to man to man. It won't be long before we are playing shorthanded at this pace.

Liz is doing great. Juliet is doing great. Baby 'X' is doing great. I feel like shit. I'm tired. Burnt out. Tired of being the sole bread winner for a failing company. Tired of having the world on my shoulders. Tired of feeling like no matter how hard I work, no matter how many jobs I bring in, no matter how many hours I work, No matter how many fires I put out, I am just spinning my tires.

I'm tired. I just want to see a light. At. The. End. Of. The. Tunnel.

"even in sleep, rest evades me,
even when dreaming, I feel like I'm running"

Running on Borrowed Time

Facing the more than probably end of my company in the not so distant future, I find myself looking for jobs. Again. I just started here 10 months ago. All I want is some stability. I am pretty damn sure that I am the angel of death for construction companies. If this company goes under I am 2/2. And it's looking good. I work hard - 50-60 hours a week and the harder I work the faster I put myself out of a job.

What do you do? Do I go slower? Drag things on? Act busy and make work out of nothing?

That's not the answer. If I am truly working to please God, I need to be excellent to the best of my abilities. Even if that means putting myself out of a job two months ahead of schedule. So I will continue to pray and job search. I will continue to be successful and make my company as much money as I can and be the best I can be until I get let go or I find another job. So I can spread my angel of death powers somewhere else.